First Draft of the Obamanator's Speech

Courtesy of Samizdata:

Comrades! - and revisionist Hillary supporting scum. Only a little joke, Hillary comrades - your support is really most welcome.

I stand before you today to tell you that Now is Our Time. The pathetic remnants of Western Civilization are ripe for destruction, and we will be the generation of revolutionaries that will finally achieve the goal of creating the new society. Outmoded institutions like private property will be swept away, and a new progressive order created.

And this will be achieved without once mentioning such words as "socialism" or "Marxism" in public. Indeed it is our very care to avoid scaring those mislead by capitalism, the ignorant who still cling to their guns and religion, that will help us achieve total victory. Ultimate power is within our grasp.

No longer we will have to pretend to be "proud of our country", for as the Intellectual Vanguard of the Revolution our country is the whole planet.

We have the children and young people already. It is true that most children are still given such outmoded and old fashioned things as birthday and even "Christmas" presents. Few children are given the intense political education that these two children receive [at this point Comrade Speaker is to wave the two girl props], or that the Great One himself received - the three hours of political education per day that our Beloved Leader was given by his mother, the untypical white person, from his most early years.

However, such intense political education is only needed for the leaders, for the Community Organisers - for the Intellectual Vanguard of the Revolution. For the masses the level of conditioning provided by the progressive media and by the public collective schools and even some of the "private" schools, is enough. With minds clear of experience or information, the young can be taught that all problems are due to the greed of big businessmen (we need not even use word "capitalists" ) and can be solved by enlightened collective power.

It is true that we have made compromises and sacrifices, but look at things have turned out:

For example, only forty years ago our Comrade Revolutionaries were fighting on the streets with the corrupt Chicago Machine. We decided not to fight that Machine - but to cooperate with it, using our family ties to the Machine when we had them.

And look at the results.

Now the machine is ours. It is our instrument - the instrument of the Revolution!

Today many of the largest corporations fund our organizations - just as Saul Alinksy predicted they one day would. But it is more than fear - the infiltration and, more importantly, the permeation of ideas (as Gramsci taught) means that many of the largest corporations are managed by people who are in whole or part in sympathy with us. The transition will be easy -for the managers of such corporations as General Electric hate the whole concept of share OWNERS already.

This is what pragmatism has given us - power, ultimate power. And soon this whole stinking Imperialist country will fall to us.

And when this place falls, so will the whole world!

This is the secret of our success - our flexibility. If the "liberals" with their bourgeois humanitarianism are against the death penalty then we are against the death penalty - whilst they are useful to us.

But as soon as it is more useful to be in favour of the death penalty then we are in favour of it - indeed more in favour of it than anyone else. Indeed we truly are in favour of the death penalty, although not for the offenses the deluded reactionaries are - pause for laughter and shouts of "kill them all".

Comrades, Comrades - we must remember Comrade Lenin's teachings.

If it is for the good of the Revolution we should kill off nine tenths of the population of the whole Earth, but if it is for the good of the Revolution to resist our urges and kill no one at all - then that is the policy we should follow.

The only morality is the Revolution - the new society. There must be no more self indulgence in killing than in anything else...

Read the rest, and then do the same with Spengler's non-satirical take.

You do know that at least 40 million of your fellow citizens will be voting for this harridan and her far-smoother (and thus far more dangerous) hubby, ja?

Tempus fugit.